Words: Tony Parsimonious
Pics: Annie Chocoliebnowitz
As the lonesome midnight wolves prowl the prairie skies, their rabid drool dripping like a hungry salamander, I arrive here at Joshua Tree Motel tired but not forgotten, to interview two of the coolest men on the planet at this point in time, Colin B. Storm and Peter Scirroco of ultimate power balladeers, The Project Power. I am greeted by their longtime 'doer', Mark 'Mick the' Miller, himself an imposing character who legendarily beat Alice Cooper unconscious with his bare penis for 'looking t'wrong way at Colin's missus'. Miller greets me suspiciously and leads me to a purple-draped room where I am asked to 'sit t'f**k down, tha'f***ing f***er'. He disappears. I wait. Nervously.
After several years pass a door opens and six scantily clad girls run past me giggling, wads of dollar bills protruding from knicker elastic, traces of white powder twinkling around their nostrils in the red glow of a buzzing neon Motel sign. I will discover later they have fallen victim to a talcum powder and cash based prank perpetrated by Colin, who will swear he was dealing with "quite a nasty rash from t'leather keks". As the girls exit, two grinning rock gods enter and hug me warmly, offering me tizer and jaffa cakes and appologising for keeping me waiting, bidding me to "get comfy and roll t'tape"...
TP: So guys, how's life here, Stateside?
CBS: It's blinkin' magic, Tone, y'know? T'Americans are reet gradely, int'it...we love it here, mate.
TP: And how have the shows been going? I hear you've been whipping up a storm...pun intended!
CBS: HEHEHEHEH! Good one Tone!
TP: Cheers Col, seriously though, how have you been going down with these mostly female audiences?
CBS: Well, they've mostly been going down on me, int'it Tone, HEHEHEHEHEH! No, seriously, they've been cool. I think t'Americans appreciate our blend of t'artiness and power ballards, and with this new MTV we've been able to put it over really well with t'videos and that.
TP: Yeah, about the videos...you caused a controversy filming the last one in South Africa. A lot of performers are refusing to go there because of the apartheid situation...
CBS: Hey look, Tone. Nobody can accuse us of being racialistic, I mean I've got every episode of Love Thy Neighbour on Betamax, and I flippin' love Jim Davidson doin' his Chalky voice, so I'm not flippin' racialistic am I? And Peter's mam always gets us a Vesta curry boil in the bag on when we go 'ome. I'm not keen on the raisins though, me...
TP: And where do you stand on the race question Peter?
PS: I prefer not to comment on politics, Tony. I'm suspicious of all of these so called leaders...I mean Mrs Thatcher is a wonderful woman in so many respects and I very much admire some of the intelligent things Mr Reagan has said...but I'm merely an internationally respected rock god and cultural icon for a generation, so I try to let my music speak for me...
TP: Do I sense you are suspicious of the press too, Peter?
PS: Let's just say Colin and I have been burned...
(Peter is referring to the notorious story in the Daily Star two years ago when Peter told a journalist that Colin, who was mourning the tragic loss of two of his previous wives, had "tragedy dogging him around". The journalist had reported that Colin had "tragically gone round dogging" to get over his loss. The incident clearly put a strain on the rock gods' relationship.)
TP: What can you tell us about the direction you're going in with the next album?
CBS: Well, we don't wanna give too much away, but we're developing the sound for the young fans. I mean a lot of the new acts like U2 and Sting have said what an influence we were on them, not just t'music like, but with t'artiness an that, int'it.
PS: Phil Collins was telling me just the other day he would never have got in front of the drums and done 'In The Air Tonight' if it hadn't been for us...so I guess the world has us to thank for the gift of Collins! Ha!
CBS: And Cher, Peter... I mean what you did for that lass is amazing. She had very low selfish-steam before you give her a seeing to, didn't she Peter?
PS: Hmm...I don't want to take credit where it's not due, Colin, you know I'm a humble man. But I have to say, I inspired the woman on a spiritual and human level with my ability to see into her very soul and unlock her inner spirit from the abyss of self-doubt and negativity into which she had fallen prior to meeting me and falling in love with me...
CBS: It were her inner spirit, weren't it Peter...
PS: ...and I have to say too that I believe the world is so much the richer for Cher rediscovering, through me if you will, her God given voice. She really did love me, you know Tony.
CBS: God given weren't it, Peter...
TP: And do you have any plans to collaborate with Cher in future, or anyone else for that matter?
CBS: Well we've been working a lot with David Coverdale who's producing the new album, "Sowing the Beads on Gloves", and there's always the chance that we might release the work we did last summer with Elton, who I think should be Knighted. He's a flippin' National Treasure, that man, he's going to make some lucky lass a very happy woman one day...
PS: ...and I think we can reveal Mark Knoppfler has played solos on two tracks on the new LP. Enough of a scoop for you, Tone? Ha!
TP: Wow, that is dynamite, guys!
CBS: Dynamite is my middle name Tone!
PS: No, Colin, it's Barbara.
And with that the brooding figure of 'Mick the' Miller returns, filling the doorframe with his full heft, drawing a finger across his throat to denote this interview is over. Storm and Scirroco have been amiable and excellent interviewees.and theirs is indeed a very Powerful Project...The Project Power. Ballardeers supreme. America loves you.
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